Having impressed with your smell, your smile and not offended with careless or inappropriate grooming or overfamiliarity you must then tailor your behaviour. What is it you want to achieve? A fob? A date? Your money back? There are a squillion and one instances of first impressions and as many possible outcomes.
Some you can manoeuvre with clever personality changes. Some you can’t because the person you are trying to impress has already formed an impression without having met you. We call these people jerks.
They may turn out to be OK on second, third or fiftieth meeting but you will be lumbered with their preconceptions at the first and there’s not much you can do about it. Let me refer you to some everyday situations.
Boyfriends’ families
Sooner or later you will be introduced to the family of a special boyfriend. How well I remember coming off the plane to meet my eldest brother-in-law for the first time. I was wearing a very nice ecru mini skirt, my hair in a long ponytail and quite enough make-up to suggest that even if I was nineteen and from Australia, I knew how people looked abroad. ‘Ah,’ boomed your uncle, ‘your teeth aren’t nearly as big as I thought they were.’ That old smile problem again. Had I not smiled so long and so hard in the photographs sent home by your father, who knows what he would have said.
By and large, families of boyfriends want you to look normal, sound normal and not have criminal records. They don’t want trouble in the way of opinions they don’t recognise, manners that challenge theirs or any suggestion that you are in it for the money. The less fixed the impression the better, with boyfriends’ families.
Employers
No matter how important the job you are applying for, prospective employers want intelligence without arrogance and confidence without brashness. They want to know you can work without supervision yet not run off with the petty cash, that you can function in a team without being subversive, and that you won’t frighten the punters. They like good hair, skin and teeth. You can manage all of this. You can.
Some prospective employers are difficult and ugly people who delight in giving applicants a hard time. May they rot in hell. But most will want to like you because they want the post filled. Never look desperate. Always be prepared to turn the job down. Avoid offering too much understanding. Arm touching is not good here although it can make an excellent first impression when you are visiting the elderly in hospital where it is unlikely to be considered sexually provocative.