As a result of being in charge of everything for so long, some men behave like lunatics. This behaviour, in a partner for life, is so grim you have to lash out and if that doesn’t work, you must pretend they are dead.

A rough guide to curious male behaviour

For a start, there’s this ridiculous need to be handled with kid gloves. You will hear women say things like, ‘Don’t speak to your father until he’s eaten.’ Or, ‘Ask him when he’s wearing his yellow trousers.’ I have never done it and I believe fewer and fewer women are doing it because it’s so demeaning all round- But some men have been raised to it. They will be reluctant to abandon their position of privilege so they will flinch, look amazed and ask to be left alone in times of stress, noise or unexpected visitors.

There is also male-pattern deafness which is men only hearing what they want to hear. You will recognise it by the silly facial expression which says, ‘I am not hearing you.’ It will occur in times of emergency as in, ‘Could you please answer the phone’, and everyday living, ‘Has anyone seen the salt?’ It also occurs when they are at the foot of the stairs and you are halfway up with a piano on your back, the reason being you should not expect them to come to you.

As well, you will come across unfamiliarity with other people’s possessions. Few men ever know where anything is if they don’t own it. This is why they can never put away the washing in a house with more than two people in it or find anything in the kitchen.

Most astonishing of all, however, is their ability to think only one thought after the other. This is called linear thinking. The great philosophers may be different but I’ve never met any. Rarely do you spot a man doing more than one thing at a time. When you ask him to spare you a minute he’ll say, ‘Hang on, I’m doing something,’ as if what he’s doing will shift the globe on its axis. He’ll go, ‘I’m watching television’ or ‘I’m just drinking my tea.’

Linear thinking would seem to suggest a paltry intellectual capacity, but there is nothing wrong with the average male capacity for thought, just in his capacity for putting himself out. Most women do it instinctively but it’s probably time they stopped, unless they are thinking of the common good.

Some you can manoeuvre with clever personality changes. Some you can’t because the person you are trying to impress has already formed an impression without having met you. We call these people jerks.

They may turn out to be OK on second, third or fiftieth meeting but you will be lumbered with their preconceptions at the first and there’s not much you can do about it. Let me refer you to some everyday situations.

Boyfriends’ families
Sooner or later you will be introduced to the family of a special boyfriend. How well I remember coming off the plane to meet my eldest brother-in-law for the first time. I was wearing a very nice ecru mini skirt, my hair in a long ponytail and quite enough make-up to suggest that even if I was nineteen and from Australia, I knew how people looked abroad. ‘Ah,’ boomed your uncle, ‘your teeth aren’t nearly as big as I thought they were.’ That old smile problem again. Had I not smiled so long and so hard in the photographs sent home by your father, who knows what he would have said.

By and large, families of boyfriends want you to look normal, sound normal and not have criminal records. They don’t want trouble in the way of opinions they don’t recognise, manners that challenge theirs or any suggestion that you are in it for the money. The less fixed the impression the better, with boyfriends’ families.

Employers
No matter how important the job you are applying for, prospective employers want intelligence without arrogance and confidence without brashness. They want to know you can work without supervision yet not run off with the petty cash, that you can function in a team without being subversive, and that you won’t frighten the punters. They like good hair, skin and teeth. You can manage all of this. You can.

Some prospective employers are difficult and ugly people who delight in giving applicants a hard time. May they rot in hell. But most will want to like you because they want the post filled. Never look desperate. Always be prepared to turn the job down. Avoid offering too much understanding. Arm touching is not good here although it can make an excellent first impression when you are visiting the elderly in hospital where it is unlikely to be considered sexually provocative.

Maintain radiant skin

Skin care is vital for great looks. If your skin is dry and dull, chances are that you will never end up looking good, irrespective of how you dress. Good skin reflects good health and well being, therefore it is very important to take proper care of your skin and follow a daily skin care routine. Keep your skin clean and moisturized, and drink plenty of water. Drinking sufficient amount of water will help you get rid of the unwanted toxins in your body, and what you’ll have is healthy, glowing and moisturized skin. Also take care to protect your skin from the harmful effects of the sun. Always put on a sun protection cream before stepping out into the sun.

Getting rid of Acne

If acne is your problem, nip the problem in the bud right away- consult a skin specialist and get the right treatment. Usually acne can be easily removed through proper medication, and special cosmetics meant to treat the problem. In worst cases, you could also try going for antibiotics and other medicated lotions.

Smelling Good

Body odour can be a real turn off; fight it with regular showers. A great smelling deodorant or anti-sweat spray also works wonderfully. Your date would hate to see a ring around your shirt due to your numerousness.

Hair Care

Your hairstyle can make a huge difference to your appearance. Depending on your face cut and figure, choose an attractive hair cut that will rightly suit you. Consult your beautician and get a gorgeous hairdo. Also use only those hair care products that suit your hair type.

Fashion Sense

You don’t want to scare your date away with an outfit that does nothing to flatter your body type or your skin. If you lack fashion sense, don’t worry. When preparing for a date it’s wise to know ahead of time what you would like to wear to make a lasting first impression. If you are unsure of the proper attire, enlist the help of a friend, or a friendly and knowledgeable sales associate at the department store you’re shopping at. Be wise about your decision: (1) avoid mismatching items, (2) avoid loud colours and combinations such as stripes and polka dots, and (3) ensure that your clothes are wrinkle-free.

These few tips should put you on the right start to having a successful first date. Remember: the first impression is often the lasting impression that your date will end the night with. Don’t blow it by breaking these 5 cardinal rules.

Maintain radiant skin

Skin care is vital for great looks. If your skin is dry and dull, chances are that you will never end up looking good, irrespective of how you dress. Good skin reflects good health and well being, therefore it is very important to take proper care of your skin and follow a daily skin care routine. Keep your skin clean and moisturized, and drink plenty of water. Drinking sufficient amount of water will help you get rid of the unwanted toxins in your body, and what you抣l have is healthy, glowing and moisturized skin. Also take care to protect your skin from the harmful effects of the sun. Always put on a sun protection cream before stepping out into the sun.

Getting rid of Acne

If acne is your problem, nip the problem in the bud right away- consult a skin specialist and get the right treatment. Usually acne can be easily removed through proper medication, and special cosmetics meant to treat the problem. In worst cases, you could also try going for antibiotics and other medicated lotions.

Smelling Good

Body odour can be a real turn off; fight it with regular showers. A great smelling deodorant or anti-sweat spray also works wonderfully. Your date would hate to see a ring around your shirt due to your numerousness.

Hair Care

Your hairstyle can make a huge difference to your appearance. Depending on your face cut and figure, choose an attractive hair cut that will rightly suit you. Consult your beautician and get a gorgeous hairdo. Also use only those hair care products that suit your hair type.

Fashion Sense

You don’t want to scare your date away with an outfit that does nothing to flatter your body type or your skin. If you lack fashion sense, dont worry. When preparing for a date it’s wise to know ahead of time what you would like to wear to make a lasting first impression. If you are unsure of the proper attire, enlist the help of a friend, or a friendly and knowledgeable sales associate at the department store you抮e shopping at. Be wise about your decision: (1) avoid mismatching items, (2) avoid loud colours and combinations such as stripes and polka dots, and (3) ensure that your clothes are wrinkle-free.

These few tips should put you on the right start to having a successful first date. Remember: the first impression is often the lasting impression that your date will end the night with. Don’t blow it by breaking these 5 cardinal rules.

Dating Tips: It is more important to like a person then how they look!

• Some dating tips on how love isn’t all about looking good. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good. It is ok to strive to be as healthy, energetic and attractive as possible. Most relationships start off based on mutual physical attraction. However, looking good doesn’t equal love. How an individual looks does not determine their emotional value to others.
•  Love is internal, appearance is external. Love is about developing and bonding emotionally together. Having things in common and accepting each other’s differences. It is not about having the right hair cut or the newest fashion on. It is about the emotions, caring and enjoyment of being together. It involves exploring new things together and not being afraid to look foolish.
  
• Looks only last for so long. Eventually looks fade or change. People change in appearance. Love is accepting those changes and continuing to value the person. Getting old, becoming grey happens. Bodies change. If developing a scar changes how a person feels about another it was not real love. Love is about caring for the entire person not just how they look.

Relationship Advice: A relationship is about being together because both people want to be.

• Love is about being there for someone needed. Not standing in front of a mirror worrying about being perfect in appearance. It is more about holding them when they are sad. Listening to their problems at 3 am when you have to be at work at 6 am. A true test of love is taking care of someone when they have the flu. It is about valuing being around someone more than being a good looking couple.
• Love is sacrifice and compromise, putting someone else’s needs before your own. Looking good is not more important than what you do. This is about a relationship, full of give and take. Respect and love are not formed from looks alone. People’s personalities have a lot more to do with compatibility then looking good. It does not matter how attractive a person is, if they are not the right one then they are just not the right one.
• Love is being a part of something. Appearance is individual. If all someone has to offer a relationship is how they look then it is not much of a partnership. A partnership is about having a connection that goes past just physical attraction. It is about spending time with each other because it feels right being around one another.  Love is where minds and souls meet and join together.  It is about being attracted to the whole person not just their packaging.
• Love is about wanting to be with someone even on a bad hair day. Perfection does not exist. A relationship may start based on physical attraction but love is much deeper.  Love is built on time and experiences together. Having something to talk about and enjoying it. It is about putting up with the odd quirks people have. People do not spend their time just looking at each other. They do things together. Things they enjoy. Otherwise why spend time together? Love isn’t all about looking good it’s about being good together.