For better understanding, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is one of the most common disorders to children and can continue to adulthood. Generally, children with ADHD have the difficulty to stay focused and pay attention, a problem with over activity and impulsivity or combination. For such problems to be diagnosed and considered as ADHD, they must be beyond the normal behavior of a child based on age and development.

Parents sometimes blame themselves for the cause, but truly it is not known and undetermined. However, a constant research shows that genetic factors is likely responsible for the causes of ADHD because such tend to be even apparent among other family members.

Dealing the issue could be easier and lighter if acknowledging and accepting it is borne in mind. Indeed, a child with ADHD can succeed with the help, support and guidance of parents. The early these problems are constantly addressed, the more likely they succeed. Remember, your child’s behavior is not intentional and don’t break out your patience with his behavior. You as the parent should be the one adjusting and not the child since he would not understand you either. Hold on to your sense of humor and keep yourself flexible. Bear in mind that your child with ADHD is special and not a curse or a burden.

Patience, patience and more patience is an utmost trait that a parent should possess. There can be no use of scolding, spanking, shouting, or taunting your child because the symptoms become deeper rather than improving. It could be very difficult, but more frustrating when you chose to drain yourself forcing them to do what you want. More so, make a firm routine or activities for them. Children with ADHD can consistently function best when they follow a firm routine or activities that are predictable. They tend to freak out when the activity is new and they become impatient and bored. It would be fine to remind them again and again with the set rules. Another, don’t forget to praise and reward them when they achieve something, that way they can feel and built their confidence and self esteem.

There can be many other guides and tips on how to raise and deal your child with ADHD and they are available in the internet or bookstore or elsewhere. Don’t hesitate to learn on how to handle the issue because there lays their fate.

There are numerous reasons you may maintain total self-reliance. One is to prove to yourself that you’re a supermom. Challenging yourself to reach a goal is great for the daily workout, but not for life 24/7. The human body needs rest for optimum health and the mind needs periods of quiet to recharge. Your family requires a healthy mother to nurture them. But a non-stop supermom will eventually falter with impatience, mistakes or illness. Staying healthy and keeping your mind sharp results in safe driving, correct medication, and patient help with homework.

Another reason you may be strictly self-sufficient is to prove your worth to others. Whether you are trying to show up someone who has voiced reservations about your ability or trying to impress someone with your skills, you may sink your own ship by overdoing. Your focus should be to take good care of yourself so you can take great care of your family. Leave the judgmental thoughts of other people where they belong, in the other people.

Once you have examined the motives behind your reluctance to ask for or accept help, think of how you have been demonstrating it. You may have telegraphed your feelings to others without knowing it. Do you occasionally invite others to your home and offer to visit? Do you exchange pleasantries with your neighbors and show sincere interest in what they offer to share? The manner in which you decline an offer can speak volumes. If an offer is rejected coldly, a potential friend may never offer again.

Family and community interdependence has been a necessary part of life from earliest mankind. Clans and tribes formed because no individual could have survived natural elements for long. But society today presents the ability to live within yards of others and still be in seclusion. The modern mum may be isolating herself without meaning to. However, opportunities for new relationships abound and lost ones might be regained. Consider the benefits of shedding some independence and opening your life to others.

It is often routine, especially if one or both parents are absent during the day, to ask a child, “How was your day?” This provides a wonderful opportunity for your child to practice his language skills because it allows him to pick and choose his subject matter and to express himself freely. He is not being asked to justify an action or to describe something that is important to you. When you do ask your child, however, be prepared to listen. One shy six-year-old was referred to therapy because of his difficulty in communicating with teachers and other adults. After some discussion, it surfaced that his father had a routine of coming home after work and at the dinner table perfunctorily asking the children, “How was your day?” Before the children could finish responding, however, he would open the newspaper and read, oblivious of all else.

What the children gathered from their father’s behavior was that what they had to say was really not important. Although verbally their father was indicating interest, his behavior was communicating indifference. This is another example of double messages parents sometimes express. Always remember that your behavior counts more in influencing your child than what you say.

The challenges involved in raising a child alone are numerous, whether the parent is a female or a male. Parents can end up on their own many different ways. Be it due to a divorce or separation, a death, or a voluntary decision (like adoption), single parents are forced to provide for their children financially, morally and emotionally. At the same time, they’re usually responsible for most of the day-to-day tasks that everyone has to tend to, like taking care of their residence. Finding the time for all of that, their children, and-as crazy as it may sound-themselves is a very real and serious challenge that can easily overwhelm just about anyone. Luckily, single parents aren’t as helpless as they think. There are a few important tips that they can follow that will make their lives easier and also create a better environment for their children.

One important thing for single parents to know is that they shouldn’t be afraid to accept help. While couples can ideally rely on one another for support when necessary, single parents don t always have someone else in the house to turn to. Once their children reach a certain age, they may become slightly more self-sufficient and thus capable of taking care of themselves or even one another, but until then, they may require adult supervision of some kind at all times, creating a difficult dilemma for their parents. Hiring help may not be an option, particularly given how challenging it is to raise children on a single income in the current economy. This may be a good time, then, to turn to family and friends for help, or at least to accept it when offered. It will give parents time to shift gears and keep things together, plus it will give their children exposure to trusted family and friends who could serve as valuable role models.

Often parents believe it is their role to cultivate a young mind and lead him to sophisticated language by setting an example at the dinner table or elsewhere. If this is achieved by carefully contrived rules that actually limit discussion, it is done at the expense of a child’s initiative.

Linda’s family, for example, had very formal dinners with all five children present. It was supposed to be a time for family discussions, but Linda’s father was a very dogmatic person and decreed that only certain topics were acceptable for dinnertime conversation. Mostly these were topics that the father could prove himself knowledgeable about or that he considered acceptable conversation for the dinner table. Because the family was large and both parents were very busy, this was the only time that the entire group was assembled. It would have provided an excellent time to practice family communication patterns. By being so rigid and controlling in this situation, Linda’s father was actually modeling negative communication and downgrading some of the subjects that were obviously important to the children.

Rather than limit what can be discussed at the dinner table or try to force your child into what you consider elevated discussions, it is better to start with what the child is genuinely interested in. From a foundation of ordinary experience and personal interest, you can point out or direct the conversation to less obvious, more advanced levels of understanding. If your son comes home and says at dinner, “This kid kicked me in school,” you can develop this piece of experience through natural conversation into a discussion of aggressiveness. But first acknowledge the worth of what the child is telling you. Express interest in the details; ask questions: “Were you hurt? You seem to be all right now. I wish you had told me earlier; that must have hurt. Did he kick you hard? How did it happen?”

Good teaching starts where the child is at any given moment and proceeds from there. If you would like your child to speak with mature, sophisticated words and sentences about far-reaching ideas, not only do you have to use the vocabulary and syntax you expect, but you must also involve the child in using such language. Interest is the surest way to gain involvement. Start with what the child knows, the topics he wishes to talk about. Your child will learn that ordinary things are worth discussing intelligently and that experience can be the basis for further thought. You may find that what interests him can be of interest to you.

Remember that you are not in competition with your child. You need not show that you know more than he does. An uncritical approach is needed. You should compliment your child when he has done well, and you should do so eagerly and share jubilantly in your child’s successes. In speaking and listening skills, this means respecting what your child says, praising his efforts, and pointing out, however small it may seem, what he has done right. In this way, you can encourage your child to speak, and you will aid his later success in school and throughout life.

Your child’s self-concept comes from feedback received from you and other parental figures. Whenever you have a chance to praise your child, take advantage of that opportunity. The more you do so, the more closely your child will identify with you, with what you say, and with what you believe. Positive reinforcement goes a long way toward ensuring good behavior. Your child will tend to duplicate behavior for which he is praised—-more often than he will give up behavior be has been punished for or adopt good habits without praise. Focus on what your child does right and praise him often.

As a parent you may often feel a spontaneous surge of love when your child is around, unconditionally, with no strings attached. We suggest that you give voice to this spontaneous affection as well as when the child has done something you approve of. Go to your child and say, “Let me just give you a hug right now”, for no apparent reason, or “It’s so good to see you. I love you very much.” You will find your child will be able to express strong, spontaneous, positive emotions effectively if you practice this.

You should also use positive physical contact as often as you praise your children verbally or express strong, positive emotions. Research has shown that infants need physical contact almost as much as they need food for healthy physical, psychological, and mental development. This need to be hugged and held remains important throughout a child’s life. Don’t be afraid to be affectionate with your spouse in front of your child. Hugging your spouse sets a good example for your child. Establishing positive physical contact as a regular form of expression in your home is not only good role modeling; it also builds self-esteem and reinforces your verbal messages to your child. The combination of a firm, loving hug and words of love or praise spoken in strongly affectionate tones is incalculable, a potent medicine for dealing with immediate problems and a preventive measure to strengthen the family for future interaction.

Jainism is an offshoot of Hinduism with similar beliefs and ideas. Most Jains, particularly women, are strict vegetarians and may refuse food which has been cooked in a utensil previously used for cooking meat. Many Jains also avoid what are described as ‘hot’ foods (lentils, carrots, onions, aubergines, chilli, ginger, dates, eggs, tea, honey, and brown sugar).

Moslems make up about 30% of the Asian population and follow the dietary laws laid down in the Koran. They are forbidden to eat pork or any product of the pig, or to eat the blood of any animal. Animals must be slaughtered according to the regulations and a short prayer said to render the meat ‘halal’. Foods containing non-halal meats are forbidden. Only fish with fins or scales may be eaten. Alcohol is forbidden. Wheat, in the form of chapattis is the usual staple for Moslems from Pakistan and rice for those from Bangladesh.

Sikhs make up the other large group of the Asian population in the UK and have the fewest dietary restrictions. Most will not eat pork or beef but will eat lamb, poultry, eggs, and dairy produce. Some Sikhs are lacto-ovo-vegetarian. Wheat and rice are the main staples in the diet. Alcohol is not permitted.

Fasting plays a role in the religious life of all groups; however, young children and pregnant women are not normally expected to fast. Young children are strongly influenced by family food habits and there is a danger of weight loss if the child follows the adult pattern of fasting. It is important to remind parents that their children need to eat during these periods.

The lacto-vegetarian diet common to many Asians is potentially rachitogenic in Britain and in the 1970s some Asian children were noted to have florid or sub-clinical rickets. This is probably the combination of several factors, including low maternal vitamin D intake, low levels of vitamin D in breast milk as a consequence, a low intake of dietary vitamin D, and possibly a high intake of phytate-containing foods which inhibit the absorption of calcium and vitamin D. Late weaning onto a diet low in vitamin D may cause deficiency in later childhood. In the homelands this deficiency is compensated by the synthesis of vitamin D in the skin under the action of ultraviolet light of the sun. The relative lack of sunlight in Britain and the skin pigmentation of Asian children is probably the main limiting factor. Additionally there is tendency to late weaning and prolonged breast-feeding which may limit vitamin D intake. Vitamin D supplementation for Asian children is recommended from one month of age until five years of age. With more widespread vitamin D supplementation the incidence of rickets in this population has now greatly declined. The practice of supplementation with vitamin D should continue.

Weaning should be encouraged between the ages of 4-6 months using adapted family foods to avoid the problem of proprietary baby foods containing non-halal meat products. There is a tendency for Asian Moslem babies to be kept on milk-based food for too long and this may result in iron deficiency and can be aggravated by the use of cows’ milk before one year of age. This practice is partly traditional and partly a result of anxieties about the religious acceptability of proprietary baby foods. Certain weaning foods are suitable and parents should be encouraged to seek them out and use them. They are supplemented with iron and should be encouraged in addition to other acceptable iron containing foods, for example egg yolk, halal beef or lamb (pureed if necessary), and green vegetables. It is also important to encourage foods which aid iron absorption i.e. those which are high in vitamin C.

Progression onto the normal family diet by approximately one year is desirable. Much support and advice may be necessary and the language gap may compound the difficulties of getting acceptance of these different feeding practices.

• Giving praise and physical affection when possible.
• Listening to worries and concerns and discussing them in a respectful way.
• Taking time to talk about happenings, ideas, thoughts and feelings.
• Talking through mistakes or things that have gone wrong in a sensible way, and getting them to understand that a mistake is not the end of the world, and to respond accordingly.
• Encouraging them to practise self-discipline.
• Encouraging them to make choices and decisions about daily events and routines.
• Enabling them to solve problems for themselves.
• Showing them the consequences of their actions.
• Concentrating on positive, affirmative behaviour rather than constantly criticising negative behaviour.
• Using stories to help them understand sadness and pleasure, illness and loss.
• Playing board games together; inviting other children to play and encouraging return visits.
• Giving them individual responsibilities such as their own bit of garden to grow and look after, helping with shopping, looking after pets;
• Demonstrating how to treat possessions, people and places with care and concern.
• Teaching them how to wash and dress themselves.
• Encouraging ‘dressing-up’ activities, where they can pretend to be other people and look at life from a different perspective.
• Helping them to reassure and comfort other children during their ‘bad’ times.
• Remembering that you are always your child’s first role model.

What is Intelligence?

Basically, whatever else it is, intelligence seems to be the ability to work things out, to solve problems, to learn – in other words, to think. Psychologists and educators prefer to speak in terms of ‘learning ability’, ‘learning skills’ and ‘thinking skills’.

The key learning skills that contribute to ‘intelligence’ are the ability to process visual patterns, to recall previously heard information and to make comparisons. Intelligence tests, where they exist, are based on these skills and the resultant scores are compared with the typical scores of children of the same age.

Theories of Intelligence
There are four basic theories of how children come to have intelligence. These are:

• that it is inherited – children are born with a fixed amount of intelligence, passed from their parents;
• that it is acquired – children depend on experience and stimulation during their formative years to develop intelligence;
• that it is interactive – children develop their intelligence as a result of the interaction between what they are born with and the experience and stimulation they receive in the early years;
• that it is learned – children can be taught how to think and, thus, how to become intelligent.

No Right Answer
Who is ever going to decide which of these theories is 憆ight? Perhaps none of them is, but all of them are. Perhaps there’s a little bit of truth in all of them and not the whole truth in any of them. Meanwhile, your child is growing and developing and you don’t want her/him to be wasting any time in developing thinking and learning skills. What can you determine from the implications of any of the theories outlined above?

• Use a washing-line or rope as a ‘snake’ and ask the children to walk along it; walk with one foot each side of it; walk across it in a zigzag and jump across it;
• Balance a piece of wood on two stacks of books or house bricks, just one brick high, and encourage them to walk along it. Hold their hand if they are not confident. Get them to walk it with one foot on and one foot off. Get them to do ‘fairy steps’ (toe to heel, toe to heel) along it. When they’re really good, get them to walk backwards along it;
• Give them something to balance on their heads as they move – it might be a large plastic bowl, a small beanbag (or bean-filled toy) or a teddy.

You can make this slightly harder by getting them to clap their hands while they’re walking, or by getting them to march or

• Do steps across the pavement, missing out the cracks. Alternatively, walk only on the cracks;
• Walk along low walls, doing different walks, such as strides, tiptoe, ‘fairy footsteps’;
• Lean one end of a plank of wood against a step and encourage or help your child to crawl and then walk up and down the sloping plank.

Of course, you must make sure that none of the things you have set up are likely to be dangerous, and stay with your child to supervise.

Make Up Your Own Games
You can also make up games involving lots of physical activity, which the children will enjoy playing just with you almost as much as with a group of other children:

• Walk forwards, backwards and sideways, and with a small beanbag/cuddly toy on your heads. See whose beanbag falls off first;
• Stand with a small beanbag on your head and try to sit down without it falling off. If you manage it, try to stand up again;
• Play ‘musical statues’ together. Play some music to which you walk, hop, skip or dance. Freeze into statues when the music stops (which you’ll have to make it do);
• Try hop-racing along the room, first on one foot, then the other
• Do follow-my-leader silly walks, such as crouching down and swinging your arms; bending at the knees; doing four steps and a jump or marching like a soldier. Encourage the children to be leaders sometimes;
• See how many different parts of the body you can both balance on. Can you balance on one leg, one leg and two hands, your bottom and one foot, two hands and one foot, your side, your bottom alone? You may be able to think of lots more fun ways to balance -encourage your child to use her/his imagination.

These kinds of games are simple, but they never lose their attraction for the children because each time they join in, they find that they can push themselves just a little bit further, or achieve just a little bit more.

Throwing and Catching Games
You can start throwing and catching games quite early, but bear in mind that children need to have developed a lot of co-ordination, balance and manual dexterity to have much control.

In a way it’s far better for adults to be involved in throwing and catching games, because children find it quite difficult to throw accurately to each other and this makes it even more difficult for the child catching.

Choose your materials carefully. Small beanbags are excellent for throwing and catching, and much easier for little hands to manipulate than balls. By the same token, small balls are much better for practising kicking than football-sized balls, which are too large and often too hard for small children to kick.

In the absence of anything else, screwed-up newspaper makes an ideal substitute for a ball, and a large cardboard box with no lid makes a perfect container for throwing the missiles into. A hoop leaned against a wall or laid on the ground is also good.

Try to encourage the children not to compete with each other, but with themselves, so that they’re striving against their own previous performance – for example, two beanbags in the hoop one week, three the next.

The same with catching. Get the child to sit or stand, and encourage them to follow the object you are throwing with their eyes. Often they watch their hands, hoping that the beanbag will land in them. They have to learn the art of keeping their eyes on the ball, and it takes a long time for this co-ordination to develop. Don’t be down-hearted if you think the children are making no headway. Remember, it is practice that will establish the skill eventually.

Developing Fine Motor Control
Probably the first thing babies do towards developing fine motor skills is to track a moving object with their eyes. They will begin to do this very early on, when you hold a small toy in your hand and attract the baby’s attention with it. Move the toy gently round and round and the baby will watch it. After a while you will find that if s possible to put a small rattle or toy in the baby’s hand and shake it gently a few times. The baby will carry on holding it for a little while.

At about six months babies are able to hold a toy or other object in each hand. If you hold a rattle or sound toy just out of reach and make a noise with it they will respond to the sound. Ask them to take the toy from you. If it drops from their grasp, ask them where it has gone, and try to get them to follow it with their eyes.

Babies usually show a lot of interest in their fingers and toes. Encourage this play, touch their fingers and hands, toes and feet in different ways and try to build up their awareness of these parts of their body.